Comments on: Why Quitting for Kids is Not So Bad

By: Melissaria

Melissaria — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 22:12:31 +0000

Very, very well said. It’s so refreshing to read something that isn’t the usual whining and complaining about how hard it is to ‘have it all, as a woman and a feminist’ which seems to be all we get in the UK at the moment. I am tired of arguing with it.

Career is not the be all and end all. There’s more to life than having your name and a big number on a pay slip. Such a shame that so few people recognise it.

By: Miranda

Miranda — Thu, 21 Feb 2008 19:56:12 +0000

Good luck ‘Jane’! I can tell you from personal experience that it is not that hard to drop out, come back, make your own ladder etc. Especially not for someone like you. And by that I mean that you seem to be very well-connected and clued in. I have had a very non-traditional library career which has included public, non-profit, corporate and state government jobs. I “dropped out” to start my own business, and dropped back in when I decided I didn’t want to travel a lot. I “dropped out” again when I had my baby last year, and then I dropped back in when my current position was posted. It is part time (4 full days a week) which sounded ideal at the time, but in reality is very very hard. But after 6 months at home, fully intending to stay home for at least year, I was going nuts and was very happy to see this job open up. I love the job and am making it work. It is perhaps a step below where some colleagues at my age are, but I don’t care at this piont. I had to make a choice and be realistic about what I could handle at work and at home. And like you said, the diverse and rich experiences I have had seem to be valued by any employer who has ever interviewed me. I’ve never not been hired! I think you do the best you can and remain true to what you and your family need and things work out.

I do have to take exception with this statement from an earlier post though:
“I look forward to reading more since you will have more time to think! Working often takes the thinking out of me.”
Being a new mother will not give you more time to think. You will be too tired to think. And probably too in love to think about career stuff for quite a while. Babies are super fun and quite high maintenance.

By: Trainers Dreaming « CE Buzz

Trainers Dreaming « CE Buzz — Sun, 17 Feb 2008 07:54:41 +0000

[...] Which is exactly what happened in the OPAL (Online Programming for All Libraries) Auditorium yesterday when Tom Peters interviewed Michelle Boule, a librarian, blogger (writing under the name â€œJaneâ€ in â€œA Wandering Eyreâ€),Â Infopeople instructor, and mother-to-be. The session, part of OPALâ€™s â€œCasual Conversationsâ€ series, was not so much the sort of session to be taped and played back later (although the session soon will join the archived interviews on OPALâ€™s site) as it was a chance for 22 of us from all over the country to gather in a virtual setting. We listened to Peters and Boule discuss a variety of topics ranging from temporarily replacing work with motherhood to why trainers (and others) leave large library systems and other organizations to seek more rewarding challenges. And we joined the conversation by typing electronic notes back and forthâ€”sort of like passing slips of paper in an elementary school classroom, but this time the teachers were includedâ€”with colleagues like fellow â€œCE Buzzâ€ author Peter Bromberg. That meant that if we werenâ€™t listening to what was being said and reading what was being written, neither part would have made sense since the aural and written conversations were completely intertwined. [...]

By: Jane

Jane — Wed, 13 Feb 2008 19:43:52 +0000

Samantha,
I subscribed to your blog and started a new folder for feeds called “parenting.”

By: Michael Golrick

Michael Golrick — Sat, 09 Feb 2008 01:47:48 +0000

You go girl. The answers come years later.

Did *I* always make the right choices? No, nor did their mother. But….they still turned out OK. I have three kids whose success and happiness I cherish. #1 is a computer programmer with a great job, working on a masters and recently married his long-time “girlfriend.” #2 is an engineer, and two years out of college has bought a house where he will be living with his girlfriend who is a PhD student in Plant Physiology at Yale (!). He also has a job where they are paying for his masters. #3 will graduate from Boston U in May and is currently interning at WBUR (but, alas, not on Car Talk….yet). They have values. I love them. Their mother loves them. Others love them. They are successful without me. That is what I dreamed for them. They are good people. I simply wish that your child/ren turn out as well. Love you child/ren as best you can!

By: Samantha

Samantha — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 21:59:21 +0000

I blog at http://shines.vox.com/ about my experiences with parenting (mostly grousing at society for being so wrongheaded, so far). Again, it’s mostly just a personal blog.

By: Jane

Jane — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 21:31:38 +0000

Michael and RCN,
It is about choices and, as parents, we have a lot of them. Our decisions are between ourselves, our partner (if we have one), and our kids. Unfortunately, the world always thinks your business IS their business. I am just blessed to have the freedom to choose this path with a supportive partner.

I like being honest about my choices and I rarely care what people think of them. I just have to choose what is best for my family. Other people can choose based on their own domestic sphere.

By: rcn

rcn — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 18:36:13 +0000

I agree with Samantha that, as a mother, you are constantly questioned – although I believe a more accurate term might be *challenged* – about your actions and choices related to motherhood. Each of us does what we can, from staying at home which the child/children, to working for pay part-time, to working for pay full-time, to deciding not to have children at all, to having an only child, to having what others deem to be too many children.

I fully appreciate your style of starting out with full disclosure about your current choices. This will help prevent you from being put on the defensive about every little choice you do make. The best we can do is develop a thick skin and do what we need to do for the benefit of our children and families.

RCN, San Francisco Bay Area

By: Michael Golrick

Michael Golrick — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 13:07:29 +0000

Jane-

You need to do what is right for you. I have seen others make the opposite decision, and struggle. I have seen others make a similar decision. I think it is easier to “get back in” than it used to be. Certainly in public librarianship what you are choosing is not an unusual pattern, and I know many school librarians who have chosen the same path.

I hope that you work to keep the many connections you have made in the profession. That will help you in your re-entry — whenever that may happen. (Hey, you could even choose to have more than one child, I don’t know…but that is a choice that only *YOU* [and Mr. Rochester] can make.)

I look forward to reading more since you will have more time to think! Working often takes the thinking out of me.

By: Sarah

Sarah — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 01:21:13 +0000

Well, I think you are making the absolute best decision and I really envy you. Being a mom is the best job in the world. It’s much more rewarding than telling people where the stapler is…