Oops! I Married an Engineer

In Houston, I live in close proximity to NASA and the oil and gas industry. Almost everyone I know is either an engineer, married to one, or has a close family member working in one of these two powerhouse industries. Mr. Rochester is an Aerospace Engineer, literally a rocket scientist. This is both a blessing and a curse.

Engineers are wired differently than the rest of us lesser mortals. Over the years, and many conversations with others who live with an engineer, I have come to realize there are certain things almost all engineers do which drive the rest of the world crazy.

This is why I have decided I should start a support group called Oops! I Married an Engineer. You are eligible for this new group if you have ever caught your significant other exhibiting one of the following characteristics:

  • An explanation, story, or anecdote which would take a normal person 3 minutes to deliver, takes an engineer 30 minutes. This is because the explanation often involves background, charts, graphs, and visual aides. (see below)
  • While telling a story, the engineer produces within seconds color pie charts, line graphs, and to scale mock-ups of the situation using materials they find on hand, including but not limited to sugar packets, silverware, paperclips, rubber bands, and innocent bystanders.
  • When planning a party, the engineer is useless in terms of food preparation and decor, but they will draw you a to scale schematic of where the table, chairs, food, and people should go given your current space dimensions. (Mr. R actually did this for our rehearsal dinner)
  • When asked to communicate anything requiring more than a simple sentence, engineers write entire computer codes or formulas with which to properly convey their idea. (Mr. R has also done this for me)
  • When assembling anything, from dinner to a complicated cabinet from Ikea, they require detailed step by step instructions. Failing to produce a recipe for a meal, even if the meal if as simple as spaghetti, results in the engineer’s head exploding. If an engineer catches you pouring a dab of this or a pinch of that into a pot, they are immobilized by shock that a civilized person can actually cook in that fashion.
  • All the clocks in the engineer’s house are set to within seconds of official NIST time.
  • When told that their spouse wants to join the Oops! I Married an Engineer support group, their response is, “Why? Because it’s so hard to live with someone who is always right?”

Just nod, say, “Yes, of course,” and come have a chat with us. We understand here at Oops! I Married and Engineer that you have attached yourself to a person who is more comfortable with formulas than people and drives you crazy. Relax. Prop your feet up. I promise there will be no charts, graphs, or math during the meetings.

 

7 thoughts on “Oops! I Married an Engineer

  • March 31, 2014 at 9:56 am
    Permalink

    How can you have an effective meeting without visual aids? You won’t get anything accomplished.

  • March 31, 2014 at 10:54 am
    Permalink

    An addendum to your first point: do not ever play Pictionary with an engineer under any circumstances. Two minutes will pass while s/he is still planning out their schematic.

  • March 31, 2014 at 12:19 pm
    Permalink

    I am totally guilty of the NIST thing. In fact most of the devices that act as clocks in our house sync up with the WWVB signal from Colorado or NTP over the Internet.

  • March 31, 2014 at 12:46 pm
    Permalink

    You are able to post this on the internet via your computer thanks to engineers. You have a cell phone thanks to engineers. Microwave oven, air conditioner, car, dishwasher, television, satellite/cable, etc. — all our modern conveniences were created by engineers. And you can purchase them thanks to your engineer husband’s really good engineer salary. Seems worth putting up with a few idiosyncrasies. Maybe instead you should start an Engineer Appreciation group, since they don’t get much of that.

  • March 31, 2014 at 2:30 pm
    Permalink

    Swengineer,
    You must realize this post is in jest. I adore my husband and I am daily thankful he is an engineer… even when he drives me crazy.

  • March 31, 2014 at 6:21 pm
    Permalink

    This support group is just an opportunity to brag about how lucky you are in finding someone that actually knows what they are talking about. Think about all the women out there that haven’t married an engineer. They don’t know how wrong they are! Congrats on having Mr. Right! ;)

  • March 31, 2014 at 7:38 pm
    Permalink

    I know that it was meant in jest. It came across to me as a bit beyond that, IMHO.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>