Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

I want to have a break-up conversation of the “It’s not me, it’s you” variety. Grab a glass of your favorite beverage, chocolate, or ice cream and let’s discuss book break-ups, aka the DNF.

I used to feel guilty about DNFing (Did Not Finish) a book. Maybe it was a holdover of well taught Catholic guilt, but I never DNFed a book, no matter how poorly written or how much I wanted to strangle one of the characters. I persevered through countless books I ended up hating because I felt bad for them. I couldn’t help it.

I no longer have that problem. I say no, guilt free, to plenty of books these days.

This change of heart happened because am an actual adult now with an actual job and a family who expects me to spend time (time I used to spend reading) doing crazy, time consuming things, like cooking/serving 2+ meals a day, laundry, dishes, a paying job, and just enough housework to keep Mr. R from getting annoyed. In between my adult duties, I self-publish my own books and read, a lot. I average about a book a week, more than most I know, but less than others.

The blunt point is my reading time is precious and less frequent than it used to be. I refuse to waste it on books I don’t like.

If you, like me, have found your time is too precious to waste, here are some guilt free reasons to DNF a book. Bonus: with Liz Lemon.

#1 – You are not in the mood.


via GIPHY
Yesterday, you really wanted, no needed, to read that post-apocalyptic erotic romance by Kit Rocha, but today you need something sweeter. You should not feel bad about putting one book on hold to start another. Unlike past relationships, books will always wait for you and you should pick that Rocha book back up later. When you are in the mood. Go binge those dragon shifters then flounce back to Regency romance. All is well.

#2 – The character/plot/writing style is so awful or insipid you are afraid that if you keep reading you may strangle the character/author/or yourself.


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Just say no to this one. Put it down and do not look back. I give a book 100 pages or about 50% to turn around a bad plot, a TSTL character, or mediocre writing. If, after that, the book is still making me want to claw my eyes out, I switch books and never look back. It is also unlikely I will go back to that author unless I get a great recommendation from someone I trust.

#3 – A TSTL or useless female lead or an alphole hero.


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This one is related to #2, but has it’s own category because it annoys me that much. Sidenote: I will also breakup with TV shows displaying one of these two characters without relief. If the female lead always needs rescuing and is a complete idiot, I can’t like her enough to care that she is in peril and I definitely do not want her to get the guy. Alternatively, if all the female characters in a story are two dimensional or completely absent (not in romance usually, but other genres populated by men*), I am out. I want to see myself in the story and I am neither an idiot nor useless.

If all the males, and especially the lead, are alpholes, I am gone. An alphole is a term in the romance community which means an alpha asshole. A good, recent example of this is Christian Grey. You know this guy. He treats other people like dirt and he always has to be in charge because he is better than everyone else… in his own mind. The worst part is there is usually no true redemption or grovelling. If you are an alphole, there better be some epic character development and groveling. Hands and knees, flat before God groveling. And even then, I may not forgive you.

#4 – I need a break.


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Sometimes, I read non-fiction or heavy fiction (Literature)**. I read a little and take breaks, interspersing my forays into improving my mind with genre fiction. After some nice shifter or regency or post-apocalyptic novels, I will go back to the non-fiction or Literature. Most of the time. Sometimes, the non-fiction is too boring or the fiction is so prose heavy and sad, I just can’t, so I leave. No looking back.

That’s it. Those are the four reasons I DNF books or take a break from them. All in all, I probably only DNF about 5-7 books a year.

Next time you start feeling like you just can’t bear another page. Quit. Say no guilt free. Life is too short to spend it reading books you don’t like when there are so many great books out there.

*wide generalization, sorry, it is sometimes true and sometimes not.

**Let’s not start in on the whole what is “literature” argument. It is a good conversation and I have opinions, but not right now.

This month I am giving away ebooks to some of my newsletter subscribers and I promise, you will not want to DNF them.



Books Read in 2015

Before I compiled the numbers, I was sure I was going to average less than a book a week. There were a couple months there I felt like I was not reading at all. Only two books a month?! Ridiculous. In a perfect world, I would just sit on the couch all day and read only getting up to make more tea or go write. Sounds fabulous.

Here are the numbers:

Total = 55
Least Read in a Month – 2 in March and November
Most Read in a Month– 7 in September

Favorite book of 2015: Song of Blood and Stone by L. Penelope

I hate writing this category, sometimes because I read a ton of great books and I do not want to pick one and sometimes because not very many stood out. I read a lot of meh books this year and a lot of books whose covers I remember but the details are fuzzy. Song of Blood and Stone easily stood out from the crowd.

It is set in a world that is wonderfully created. There is a strong romance arc. Penelope uses this world to discuss some extremely timely social issues: injustice, slavery, where do exiles belong, who is an immigrant, what do people’s origins have to do with the person they are/become, bigotry, racism, economic inequality, and fear (especially of the Other). The words of this book are beautifully crafted, as are the characters and, while I appreciated the fantasy and world-building, I loved her light hand on some very heavy topics. Bonus, the main character is a WOC (woman of color).

Other books of note: The author I read the most from is Courtney Milan. There are six of her books on the list and they never, ever disappoint.

Ready Player One by Ernest Cline is a stand out on this list. From the eighties nods to the geek jokes, I devoured that book. Anne Bishop’s Others series was a favorite of mine this year as well. I liked her take on supernatural creatures and want my hands on the last in that series yesterday. Marissa Meyer’s Lunar Chronicles are absolutely fantastic.

I have marked some of my other favorites on the list with a *.

Best Reread: I only reread five books this year and three of them, the Tolkiens, were because we are reading them to the boys and only half count. I reread an old Garwood, The Bride, and Emma by Austen. Emma gets tedious in some of the middle bits because, while I love Emma Woodhouse, she needs to be shaken a couple times, so I would have to go with The Bride.

Other notes: If you read my monthly list, you will also see that I went on a bit of a non-fiction journey starting in May on the subject matter of the church and gay people. While I did have a conservative book, a rather large one, to balance my reading, I DNFed so it did not make the list. I felt I already had a solid handle on the conservative argument, so I wanted to read the other side of the coin.

I learned a lot and would highly recommend  to anyone God and the Gay Christian by Matthew Vines. I heard an interview on NPR with him, which is what sparked my journey, and found him to be passionate about God and the Bible. I knew I needed to read his book. Besides being wonderfully researched and well thought-out, it is a passionate plea for Christians to consider another biblical view. I loved it. I think everyone should read it. 

I also read a lot of dragon shifter books, because DRAGONS. They are like crack. I tried an erotic romance (not my first one) and I want to write a whole post on it, but if erotic romance is your thing, the Kit Rocha books are fantastic. Plus the ladies that write them are hilarious online.

The very last book on the list is an indication of things to come. Mr. Rochester has decided we are opening a brewpub and is dragging me along, pint in hand, with him. Enjoy the list!

 

January – 5
Unveiled by Courtney Milan
Gregor the Overlander by Suzanne Collins
Unlocked by Courtney Milan
Unclaimed by Courtney Milan
A Kiss for Midwinter by Courtney Milan

February – 3
The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien
The Raven Boys by Maggie Stiefvater*
Beyond Shame by Kit Rocha

March – 2
Written in Red by Anne Bishop
The Trouble With Magic by Patricia Rice

April – 6
Scarlet by Marissa Meyer
Cress by Marissa Mayer
Murder of Crows by Anne Bishop
Vision in Silver by Anne Bishop
This Wicked Gift by Courtney Milan
Proof of Seduction by Courtney Milan

May – 6
Hexed by Kevin Hearne*
Love Is An Orientation by Andrew Marin
Trial by Desire by Courtney Milan
Ready Player One by Ernest Cline
Jesus, the Bible, and Homosexuality: Explode the Myths, Heal the Church by Jack Rogers

June – 4
Say Yes to the Marquess by Tessa Dare
The Fellowship of the Ring by J.R.R. Tolkien
Eagle’s Honor: Banished by Sandra Schwab*
Shadows and Strongholds by Elizabeth Chadwick

July – 6
Highland Fling by Amanda Scott
The Avalon Chronicles: Once in a Blue Moon by DeFillipis, Weir, and Vieceli
The Avalon Chronicles: the Girl and the Unicorn by DeFillipis, Weir, and Vieceli
The Bride by Julie Garwood (reread)
Emma by Jane Austin (reread)
Her Man of Affairs by Elizabeth Mansfield

August – 5
The Gigantic Beard That Was Evil by Stephen Collins Through the Woods by Emily Carroll*
Laird Wolf by Vivian Arend
The Polaris Uprising by Jennifer Ibarra
Soul of Smoke by Caitlyn McFarland*

September – 7
Medusa, a love story by Sasha Summers
The Lilly Brand by Sandra Schwab*
Wilder’s Mate by Moira Rogers
It Started With a Scandal by Julie Anne Long
Shadow of Flame by Caitlyn McFarland
Burned (Dragos, book 1) by Amber Kallyn
Rocky Mountain Heat by Vivian Arend

October – 4
Scandal: a Regency Historical by Carolyn Jewel*
God and the Gay Christian by Matthew Vines
Rebel Mind by Olivia Dart (pre-release)
Nice Dragons Finish Last by Rachel Aaron*
The Two Towers by J.R.R. Tolkien

November – 2
A Heartless Design by Elizabeth Cole
Lair of the Lion by Christine Feehan

December – 5
Dragon Fall by Katie MacAlister
Avatar of a Dream by Kai Mullins (pre-release)
At Blade’s Edge by Lauren Dane*
Truth of Embers by Caitlyn McFarland
Song of Blood and Stone by L. Penelope
The Brewers Association’s Guide to Starting Your Own Brewery by Dick Cantwell

Reasons to Love an Unexpected Romance

Two weeks ago, I cleaned off some of my bookshelves because we were shifting furniture around. One of the shelves, a round table made from wire spools by my grandfather, was in sore need of dusting.

Austin, Austin spin-offs, Alcott, Brontes, and lots of other fun things.
Austin, Austin spin-offs, Alcott, Brontes, and lots of other fun things. Notice the foam sword in the foreground. That is in case of attack by pirates.

The table holds a collection of classics from my youth and adulthood that I have kept because each formed the woman you now see before you. I could no sooner part with them than one of my limbs. I did find one book I had forgotten I owned. It is a slim regency romance by Elizabeth Mansfield called Her Man of Affairs.

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What are you writing there? Let me peer over your shoulder provocatively just to make sure you know I am here.

I will give you a few minutes to absorb the beauty that is that cover. See how she gently touches his hand and leans over his shoulder? Classic! It was enough to make me squee with anticipation.

Someone of my acquaintance found this on their bookshelf and bequeathed it to me knowing what a soft spot I have for regency romance. My intention was to read it poste haste, but life got in the way and it was tucked amidst my classics. When I rediscovered it, I knew I had waited long enough.

It was predictable (every genre has some predictableness, so don’t be too judgey) but it was absolutely delightful. It reminded me of all the reasons I love romances. Here are a few I would like to share:

Reason #1 – In most romances the women are powerful. Not power in the traditional sense, though that can happen, but they have intellectual prowess, they have emotional power over themselves, they are damsels that rescue themselves, or they understand their sexuality (or they come to in the course of the book). I love a strong heroine who admits when she is wrong or when she admits she needs the hero’s help to accomplish a task. This is not to say the hero does not have power. He often does, but he does not beat the heroine down, literally or figuratively, to maintain his power. If he does start out that way, woe to him as he learns the error of his ways and then must commence with the grovelling. The best romances involve some team work between the H/H (hero and heroine). Which brings me to …

Reason #2 – Cooperation. Life is all about compromise and working together. Romances show this in romantic relationships. Too often, in real life, we think that being in a relationship is what the other person has to offer us, not what we can do for the other people in our lives. Relationships are about service to others, not what we are getting from them. In romances, this give and take is something the H/H have to negotiate as their relationship develops. Other genres show this kind of compromise and cooperation too, but nothing is more intimate than the relationship you have with a life partner. The depth of selfless giving is greater because this is a person you can not escape, even on your worst days or theirs.

Reason #3 – Everything is better with a little sexual tension, kissing, romance, and *ahem* other things. As a female reader, I have found a lot of traditional scifi and fantasy (read stuff written by men and mostly for men) as boring and dry. You know why? Because it rarely includes romance and there is romance in real life. People are attracted to each other, especially when crammed into tight quarters or in high risk situations. A book with a group of people going on a quest where none of them ever feels any emotions for the other people in the group is weirdly asexual to me.*

Reason #4 – Everything is a little more fun with kissing.

Reason #5 – I admit it. I like happy endings. I like reading about people finding peace and a partner. Who doesn’t want that?

So tell me: Do you like a little romance in your stories? Why or why not?

 

*It should be noted, that some people, my engineering husband for one, think that emoshuns ruin good stories. Your opinion is your own.